Not too long after I got married I was sitting with some veterans in the field – Men who had been married for more than 25 years. We were having a few beers and then the wife complaints started to cross the table. The conversation degenerated into “who had the worse wife.” I was horrified.
Later on I was privy to a conversation by a mother to her daughter: “You must train your man. Time away from him is good. Who would want to spend every minute with their spouse?” I was horrified.
First off, I love my wife. I married her not because I needed a sometime companion but because I could not imagine my life without her. I wanted to (and still want to) spend every waking moment with this wonderful human being. We do not agree on everything, and we do fight, but these moments are worked out.
I do not profess to be an expert on love. What I know is that my wife and I have a series of rules that we follow and so far we have been doing ok
1. Pray together
2. Always be honest.
3. Pick each other up when there is a sad or hurt situation.
4. Keep no secrets (except about presents)
5. Say “I love you” every day.
6. Be good catholics.
7. There is no right or wrong – in the end it is all about how you make your partner feel. If I am right and you are right and we can both back up our position academically, what does it profit us to hurt each other.
8. Do things as a family.
9. Eat together every evening. …. Well this one is not doing so good.
10. Pray as a family